If you haven’t tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), it’s helpful for issues like you’re having with your appearance. The Tree of Life Shirt I recommend is The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns because I find it to be comprehensive, but there are many other CBT books you can skim and choose from. Just being a user of the book and not a licensed therapist or whatever, I’d say you could do a cost/benefit analysis of the idea that you are “the ugly girl no one could ever possibly love”. What are the benefits of believing that? (For example, a. you never have to take risks, b. you have a ready-made explanation for why things don’t work out, c. your identity is defined and you never have to feel the insecurity of questioning who you are, d. etc…). What are the costs of believing that? (a. You feel miserable about your appearance, b. you don’t let people in out of fear of rejection, c. you likely don’t emphasize your positive traits because you believe they can’t overcome how people may see you, d. if someone comes along that challenges your belief that you are unlovable, you may subconsciously try to prove them wrong rather than be proved wrong by them, e.etc…). THEN you do a cost/benefit of the Tree of Life Shirt I am a Tree of Life Shirt who’s had eye surgery and it’s possible to love me. What are the costs to believing that? (a. I may have doubts whether or not people do notice the imperfect ocular appearance I believe is noticeable to all, and I won’t be certain it has any bearing on their judgement of me as a person, b. I’ll have to date and wade through all the people who even stereotypically pretty, confident people have trouble choosing from, c. I may have to let go of years of self-doubt and pain, which would be uncomfortable because it has defined me for so long; and I also may feel regret for not letting go of this earlier, which would take work to process). And then, what are the benefits of believing that? (a. I can open up to people, b. I can stop worrying about my ocular appearance that has tortured me for so long, c. I can start a Tree of Life Shirt in my life, d. I can allow myself to have all the Tree of Life Shirt that I wanted for so long but didnt feel I deserved, e. etc…).
()Raises a Tree of Life Shirt question. Hair may be caused for reasons like war, so it might make some sense for it to be gender specific. But it’s also cultural too, some cultures have long hair, some don’t. Makes you wonder how much is cyclical, and what will change in the future. Pink used to be a Tree of Life Shirt. We found my grandfathers birth announcement a while ago – and it had a pink ribbon attached. Boys were associated with pink back then, girls blue. Now if you put pink on boys clothing you get accused of being a groomer. I can see some future where my great grandkids are saying something like “great grandpa, you wore PANTS? Those are for girls!” Or “why is great grandma wearing makeup in your wedding pictures? that looks so weird!
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I cant understand the mentality of never punting. Or never doing anything necessarily. Like why rule it out if it would be better to do it than not? 4th and 2? 4th and 10 even? Go for it. Why be the guy who is so committed to not punting that youre going for it on 4th and 15+? Thats like going all in on a Tree of Life Shirt card in poker. Of course even then where you are on the field and the game situation itself should also play into it as well. I just cant imagine a) ruling out something that would be beneficial, or b) giving my opponents that much clear insight into anticipating my decision making
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