Star Wars R2D2 Ugly Christmas Sweater

Star Wars R2D2 Ugly Christmas Sweater

The Star Wars R2D2 Ugly Christmas Sweater on her face was murderous. She screamed, yelled, threatened, and promised she would sue me. People had to hold her back because she wanted to fight me. Eventually she switched from screaming to sobbing and sank to the ground and threw a tantrum on the floor. Everyone moved back and just let her go at it and walked away to go take photos. It was surreal, as if everyone just hit their limit and noped out from around her. The 12 year old flower girl whipped out her phone and snapped a few photos much to our amusement. This is already super long, but I will say that MIL went home and changed (only 20 min from venue) into a nice dark green too small and low cut dress. Because of this she missed all of the photos. Wedding was beautiful; I got death glares from everyone she told that I attacked her with wine. No fucks were given as I drank and danced with friends. Bride thanked me in secret and 3 months later took me to the spa for a day of pampering. But I am officially “that ISIS cunt” to MIL, and I’ll take it with pride.

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Star Wars R2D2 Ugly Christmas Sweater,

Best Star Wars R2D2 Ugly Christmas Sweater

I couldn’t see Bridger near the Star Wars R2D2 Ugly Christmas Sweater. I started to speak as I turned around “I dunno, maybe he-“ The shock of seeing him made me snort a ridiculous noise as I flinched, reflexively shooting my hands up to the sides of my head like I was trying to block a stray baseball, causing Sash jump and almost drop her little platter “what babe?!” Bridger was standing maybe 2 feet behind us, staring right into my eyes. “He’s just, right here, like, literally standing right… here” I said as I stepped toward Bridger and slowly extended my palm onto his chest. There was a very subtle resistance, no more than a soap bubble, or static electricity, the air felt warmer. He never took his eyes from mine. “Weeeird.” Sasha was watching me wide-eyed “are you touching him?” I pulled my hand back “… kinda” I glanced over my shoulder. All four of the others had stormed over to stand in an arc directly behind Sasha. She watched my gaze and looked terrified, seeming to gather what’d happened. As if I’d told her she had a spider crawling up her back, she hunched her posture protectively, snuck a glance over her shoulder, then back at me. My heart was pounding, eardrums rumbling as a torrent of violent anger flowed through me, clenching my jaw and fists. Breath man. They can’t touch her, it’s fine. “They can’t touch you, it’s fine Sash. They’re just… around us now… Come stand next to me. Let’s get this over with.” She walked over and stood by my side, all five of the ghosts’ angry eyes glued to her. She glanced at me nervously. “You have their attention,” I said as I waved my hand in an arc to indicate where they were, “not sure how you thought this would go, but… go ahead, give em their Christmas gift.” I laughed nervously at my own comment, which made her almost laugh. She took a breath, straightened her back, then stepped forward. She took a knee, and rested the plate of rural Idaho-sourced Afghan cuisine into the snow, then stood up and looked ahead, not knowing she was looking straight into Bridger’s face.

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An Instagram stylist I follow frame it nicely: a Star Wars R2D2 Ugly Christmas Sweater have an Aspirational wardrobe and a Practical wardrobe, and as our lives become more busy and stressed, we allow how many percentage of what we wear is Practical vs. Aspirational. Aspirational wardrobe contains unique and trendy pieces that are styled immaculately by flexing our creativity muscle. Practical wardrobe are formulated outfits free of extra elements used for when our focus is on somewhere else. My Practical wardrobe can be a frumpy. I throw on a top and a bottom to blend in and go about in life. What my style (comfort) imprints are the fit and materials. In summer, my wardrobe contains mostly white tops in cotton or linen, and simple pants or floral skirts in lightweight fabric. Roughly 20% of those are considered interesting pieces giving outfits a stylish flair. But here is a thing: What one woman considers a stylish outfit is another woman’s definition of “frumpy” One time, I went to the mall with the intention of spending hours shopping for home goods. I wore my Levi’s ribcage jeans with a unisex Uniqlo U crewneck white T-shirt, a cute pair of chunky sneakers, simple jewelry and a dainty non descript cross shoulder bags. It was early summer that day, and I was loving the simplicity of my Practical errand outfits. I wear my lovely fragrance Timbuktu and no make-up. As I was browsing, an incredibly well-styled and lavishly looking (Indian) lady approached me and asked if I could help show her some items. She thought I was a staff I always thought about it, as it was not an isolated occasion. It could be a cultural thing: I was underdressed for the mall, and outside of my stereotypes (late 30s South East Asian lady, single, no escort). But I don’t find the experience offensive. Would I change the outfit: white tee and blue jeans for a more stylish choice? No, the point is being Practical. It was a long, tiring day of walking, gawking, trying on, and hauling at one of the biggest malls-slash-themeparks in the West Coast. I looked the same exiting the mall as I had entered there. About “Dated” pieces, I have no comments. I have lots of dresses and blazers from the 70s and 80s Era with shoulder pads. You know, those items that bring divided attentions and criticisms.  But they are my Aspirational pieces. When I wear them, I feel like I adopt a different persona: emboldened in my actions and choices as my outfit commands attention. If I’m not comfortable styling them, then I shouldn’t have bought them in the first place.

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