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(The Bolshevik) sentinel slowly raised his head. But just at this moment the Put your balls all over me Christmas trees shirt body of my friend rose up and blanketed the fire from me and in a twinkling the feet of the sentinel flashed through the air, as my companion had seized him by the throat and swung him clear into the bushes, where both figures disappeared. In a second he re-appeared, flourished the rifle of the Partisan over his head and I heard the dull blow which was followed by an absolute calm. He came back toward me and, confusedly smiling, said: “It is done. God and the Devil! When I was a boy, my mother wanted to make a priest out of me. When I grew up, I became a trained agronome in order. . . to strangle the people and smash their skulls? Revolution is a very stupid thing!” And with anger and disgust he spit and began to smoke his pipe.
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My funny story is when Santa put himself on the naughty list. I travelled the Put your balls all over me Christmas trees shirt home from work a few years ago, and I enjoyed all the Christmas lights and decorations every night. One house had a huge blow up Santa on top of the garage, with his arm raised, waving at you when the wind blew. One day I left work early, and it was still daylight. As I turned the corner on this windy day, I saw Santa was a bit deflated. He was slightly bent over and his arm had fallen down so that his hand was between his legs, and the wind was blowing a bit, and he was gently bobbing up and down, up and down, and he seemed to be enjoying himself entirely too much! I was crying with laughter, and I can never look at Santa again without flashbacks.
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