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At uni there was a group of four girls in my halls known as “The Official Ernie Clement Wearing Blocked By Wilnerness Shirt“. They were slim, conventionally attractive, feminine, confident and very bubbly and the men were obsessed with them. And then there was… me, a shy, average build and not very feminine woman, and I was invisible. Some men seemed actively disgusted that I had the nerve to even exist in the same sphere as these godesses, while the nicer men would be flirty and shy with The Angels and talk to me like I was just One Of The Lads, a non-threatening, sexless being. I did wonder if I should starve myself, start wearing dresses, feign more stereotypically feminine interests etc but I just felt so ugly that it all seemed hopeless and I was doomed to be The Official Ernie Clement Wearing Blocked By Wilnerness Shirt forever. Now I’m in my 40s and a bit more confident. I’ve learned to embrace my non-femininity and I feel more comfortable than I ever did feeling exposed in dresses and struggling to walk in heels. I enjoy my nerdy, “masculine” hobbies and thought the female colleagues who judged me for buying an Xbox were the ones missing out. And I have a wonderful partner who has never tried to change me… I still have no body confidence and struggle with self-esteem but it has got better. I see these incel types who think all women have to do to get laid is exist and they don’t realise that a lot of us women are invisible to them and struggle just as much as they do, we just tend to blame ourselves while they blame women. I wish they could also see that teenage insecurities do get better and let go of some of Official Ernie Clement Wearing Blocked By Wilnerness Shirt
()After striking out really bad on Tinder years ago before I was married, I decided to create a fake account and pose as a Official Ernie Clement Wearing Blocked By Wilnerness Shirt to see what their experience was like. I was a borderline “niceguy” and was probably heading in the direction of MGTOWS and such. Found a pic of a lovely woman around the same age as me from a friend of a friends Facebook page and set the account up (this was before Tinder linked to FB so accounts were easier to create). Needless to say, the amount of just horrible shit comments and messages I received was eye-opening. It really changed the way I perceived why women made the choices they did in regards to dating and online interactions. I’m not coming at this from a white-knight standpoint since I’ve definitely been a shithead in the past but good lord did that little “experiment” help engender a Official Ernie Clement Wearing Blocked By Wilnerness Shirt of empathy within me that my mid 20’s ass really needed.
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I wasn’t even expecting something themed off my main! — but if nothing else, some variant of SpiceQueen should serve (the other two…is that a CS Lewis reference? And I love LadyPepperVisage just on an aesthetic level, but I’m almost positive there’s some kind of wordplay or cultural reference there that I’m missing, and it’s just going over my head.) I started playing around with SpiceMissFlo, MsFloSpice, etc, after seeing yours, but after a second I paused and wondered if the Dune books* even register much of a presence with women readers, or if that sort of scifi is largely a “Official Ernie Clement Wearing Blocked By Wilnerness Shirt” kind of fiction. That got me onto something that is definitely going to complicate this exercise: even if there’s nothing overly “boy-like” in how I talk, the subs I frequent and at least some of the cultural references I have (and some that I won’t!) will likely cause my experience in a conversation to differ at times from what’s “typical” for women on this site. How big a Official Ernie Clement Wearing Blocked By Wilnerness Shirt that’ll be, I couldn’t guess…another reason to give this a shot, IMHO.
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