Kona Brewing Big Wave Golden Ale Ugly Sweater Party

Kona Brewing Big Wave Golden Ale Ugly Sweater Party

This story is about my friends MIL, and her wedding. Strap in guys, this is a Kona Brewing Big Wave Golden Ale Ugly Sweater Party in which I did THE THING that got me banned from any of her family functions. (Plus a few threats of dismemberment and bodily harm) A good friend of mine from university was getting married! They had been a couple since Junior year of college, through her 2 years in the peace corps and currently her return to this continent. 6 years in total. She had been to all manner of family functions and always came back with a strange story about how she thinks her MIL secretly hates her. But she being a very quiet and sweet person pushed those thoughts aside. Point 1: She is vegetarian and jewish, husband is not. She was invited and went to Christmas dinner and figured she would just eat sides, as well she brought a vegetarian casserole. MIL, after knowing her for THREE years, and being told by husband a few weeks before about not to forget friend doesn’t eat meat…proceeded to put meat in every dish. Friend drank water and ate her casserole the whole night while MIL cried to everyone that friend was so rude for not eating her cooking. Anyway, back to the story. A few friends and I were asked to be in the wedding. Friend has a HUGE family and so this was not going to be a small affair. Neither of them is particularly religious, but friend said it was would be nice to be married under a hoopa. (Think an arbor but 4 poles and covered with a white cloth and lots of flowers) Husband said he could care less, and told her to go and rent one for the wedding. I was at the bridal shower when MIL found out the “pretty canopy” was actually a hoopa. She almost lost her shit in front of a bunch of people, but managed to compose herself and laugh angrily that “if the jews were being represented so would the catholics.” In my head I heard a record screech, guys… they aren’t catholic.

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Kona Brewing Big Wave Golden Ale Ugly Sweater Party,

Best Kona Brewing Big Wave Golden Ale Ugly Sweater Party

The Kona Brewing Big Wave Golden Ale Ugly Sweater Party in the house changed. A roaring started, faint at first, but it grew, it felt like it was coming from the center of the house, the floors, the walls, the foundation, the fuckin plumbing. It grew louder, like wind ripping through a cave. As I looked back at Sasha every light in the house dimmed to the faint glow of a small candle, and it felt like I was free falling, stomach in my throat. The roaring grew until an instantaneous eruption of force that felt like heat, electricity, liquid and wind exploded outward from the center of the house in a deep, cavernous exhale. The lights brightened, and a ring of flickering light surged out into the blizzard. The feeling of relief was so heavy Sasha and I both collapsed, breathing as though we’d been drowning, each breath like burst of main-lined opiates. It was the feeling of the spirit leaving. We crawled over to each other and held Dash between us until the storm died. Sleep was comically improbable for me, but we got in bed around 3am and Sash crashed immediately. I just sat there for hours, petting Dash at our feet and rubbing Sasha’s back. Thinking about how close it had just gotten. Those bastards were about to kill us. I got up about a half hour before sunrise and made some coffee. I’d slept about 5 hours in the last 72. I went out with my coffee at sunrise to sleuth the bastards. It was clear, but cold. Kinda cold you get out of or just numb into right away. I was beyond exhausted, seeing trails, slaphappy, face tingling. I wasn’t angry at these guys anymore, sitting out there burning my mouth with coffee, suddenly the whole thing was just fuckin hysterical. Guys I’d killed coming back to haunt me? The most profound, tragic, intimate, fucked up thing a man can do; that’s how this spirit gets ya? A hell of your own making. So fuckin ridiculous. I walked around to the kitchen porch and there they were. They were all in the yard between the kitchen porch and the back gate. Low and behold, all staring away from the house, up into the mountains to the east, doing their strange little pagan spirit observance, gettin brainwashed. You’d think this ferocious earth spirit would’a matured past this cliché pageantry over the millennia. What a hack. Creeps was closest, 30 feet away from the porch, next to one of our raised garden beds. Let’s creep on Creeps, I thought. I walked up and stood behind him. “Whatch’ya lookin at?” I asked him.

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An Instagram stylist I follow frame it nicely: a Kona Brewing Big Wave Golden Ale Ugly Sweater Party have an Aspirational wardrobe and a Practical wardrobe, and as our lives become more busy and stressed, we allow how many percentage of what we wear is Practical vs. Aspirational. Aspirational wardrobe contains unique and trendy pieces that are styled immaculately by flexing our creativity muscle. Practical wardrobe are formulated outfits free of extra elements used for when our focus is on somewhere else. My Practical wardrobe can be a frumpy. I throw on a top and a bottom to blend in and go about in life. What my style (comfort) imprints are the fit and materials. In summer, my wardrobe contains mostly white tops in cotton or linen, and simple pants or floral skirts in lightweight fabric. Roughly 20% of those are considered interesting pieces giving outfits a stylish flair. But here is a thing: What one woman considers a stylish outfit is another woman’s definition of “frumpy” One time, I went to the mall with the intention of spending hours shopping for home goods. I wore my Levi’s ribcage jeans with a unisex Uniqlo U crewneck white T-shirt, a cute pair of chunky sneakers, simple jewelry and a dainty non descript cross shoulder bags. It was early summer that day, and I was loving the simplicity of my Practical errand outfits. I wear my lovely fragrance Timbuktu and no make-up. As I was browsing, an incredibly well-styled and lavishly looking (Indian) lady approached me and asked if I could help show her some items. She thought I was a staff I always thought about it, as it was not an isolated occasion. It could be a cultural thing: I was underdressed for the mall, and outside of my stereotypes (late 30s South East Asian lady, single, no escort). But I don’t find the experience offensive. Would I change the outfit: white tee and blue jeans for a more stylish choice? No, the point is being Practical. It was a long, tiring day of walking, gawking, trying on, and hauling at one of the biggest malls-slash-themeparks in the West Coast. I looked the same exiting the mall as I had entered there. About “Dated” pieces, I have no comments. I have lots of dresses and blazers from the 70s and 80s Era with shoulder pads. You know, those items that bring divided attentions and criticisms.  But they are my Aspirational pieces. When I wear them, I feel like I adopt a different persona: emboldened in my actions and choices as my outfit commands attention. If I’m not comfortable styling them, then I shouldn’t have bought them in the first place.

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