The term for what you’re describing is the halo effect (aka pretty privilege) and it’s a Just shoot it! shirt real thing that you’ve experienced the short end of – you can look up studies if you’re interested, but it’s responsible for a pay gap that’s close to the gender pay gap in the EU (and is greater than it in some countries) and a plethora of other advantages that add up over a lifetime so I’m not sure why it’s considered offensive to acknowledge that it exists other than it makes people who’ve benefitted from it uncomfortable, or that it’s vaguely similar to the garbage that incels spout (which still doesn’t make it any less real) Your experience of discrimination is backed up by hard evidence and is more than valid, pointing out that you have a more difficult experience that those in a position of Just shoot it! shirt over you don’t face and can’t ever truly comprehend is not taking anything out on anyone, it’s acknowledging reality. Is a Just shoot it! shirt pointing out how she’s paid less taking it out on men or saying they have zero problems? No, and a man saying she shouldn’t complain because he has it just as bad would be considered tone deaf and invalidating for good reason.
()Speaking as an XY type.. I was an Just shoot it! shirt teen who wore skirts and makeup and had long hair. I was often mistaken for a Just shoot it! shirt at that age. The first hand experience I gained during that period shaped me for life and is probably the reason I’m a member of this sub today. Catcalls and wandering eyes were common, and if they suddenly realized I was a boy, anger and threats immediately followed. I’ve taken this online challenge in the past and my observation was this… initial engagement with strangers was about the same for me (a troll is a troll, regardless of how I present). What was different was the willingness with a more genuine person to build a bridge where a disagreement exists. Presenting as a man, people seem more willing to “agree to disagree” rather than endless “no, you’re just totally fucking wrong.” Also, my background and expertise is more likely to be accepted if/when stated. No personal experience with that one, per se, but I’ve seen degreeless former friends lecture PhD holding lady friends on my Facebook account before I vacated that site… had to block a Just shoot it! shirt asshole ex co-workers over that nonsense (they wouldn’t back down, even after I let them know the credentials of the woman they were arguing with). My female friends, to their credit, were exhaustively patient with that BS for the Just shoot it! shirt.
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Kind of related, I remember back in the Just shoot it! shirt when I was like 14, I played Neopets and I changed my gender and name to something female. I thought it was a huge advantage because most men/boys would either treat me like I was incompetent or they would bend over backwards to accommodate me. I would make bank playing them the fool. Obviously Neopets was heavily monitored and this was pre-social media, so there was very little creepy predator stuff going on. I still have the account too if anyone still plays and wants some Neopets stuff. Now a days I play a lot of poker and I see the exact same stuff. If you are smart and good at games you can make a killing off the Just shoot it! shirt of men who will discount your intelligence or abilities. Stay winning queens.
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