Fireball Ho Ho Ho Christmas Sweater

Fireball Ho Ho Ho Christmas Sweater

I remember a Fireball Ho Ho Ho Christmas Sweater memoir — Beasts, Men, and Gods — by Ferdinand Ossendowski, a White Pole who fled the Bolshevik revolution through Siberia. He served in General Kolchak’s All-Russian Government before escaping through the Steppes north of Mongolia, and then participated in the government of that most notorious adventurer, the “Mad Baron” Ungern-Sternberg, who attempted to take over Mongolia to restore an imperial Khaganate as part of an imagined reactionary restoration of the Great Mongol, Chinese, and Russian monarchies in the interests of the “warrior races” of Germans and Mongols (a Baltic German, he considered the old Russian ruling class to represent Germandom over and against Jews and Slavs). Some of the things – the acts of desperation and madness, in which he himself was no disinterested observer – Ossendowski relates are harrowing. But this part struck me as very much making a point about what people think of the Steppe peoples, and of what (German-trained) nationalists like Ungern-Sternberg did (and would do again) to the Mongols. And, other things:

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Fireball Ho Ho Ho Christmas Sweater,

Best Fireball Ho Ho Ho Christmas Sweater

That’s a tough act to follow. And Richie Petitbon was the “lucky” guy to attempt to fill those shoes. The Redskins promoted their 55-year-old, long-time defensive coordinator to the Fireball Ho Ho Ho Christmas Sweater coaching position. And that pretty much destroyed the dynasty that Joe built. Just 15 months before Petitbon was hired, the franchise that had won a Super Bowl with 17 wins in 19 games. Petitbon would only coach one year, going 4–12, and never coached another football game for the rest of his life. The organization faltered after that. In the 26 seasons since Petitbon, Washington has only had three 10-win seasons, and has become the laughingstock of the NFC East.

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Do it because it sucks putting up Christmas decorations. It sucks putting up the tree, untangling all the lights, getting all that crap out of Fireball Ho Ho Ho Christmas Sweater storage and tossing around with meaningless baubles like each placement is life-or-death perfectionist fun. And we want to get the most out of that effort. Depending on how many “helpers” I have, it can take one to four hours just putting up the tree. (It’s frealistic, over two metres tall, and has individual coded branches.) The more helpers, the longer it takes. And it’s hot where we live. By the end I’m peed off, drenched, covered in sweat, and I haven’t even done the lights yet. Which are tangled to f*&#. Then the kids pull out all the decorations and place them random patchy over the lower sections of the tree, despite encouragement to maybe spread them around (and make it look goodish). So I wait for them to go to school the next day and redo all the decorations. It’s basically a couple days work for all the Chrissy dex.

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